I find airplane travel these days about as enjoyable as plucking my chin hairs. Neither is pleasant, but sometimes there just isn’t another alternative.
So when we decided to go to Hawaii as a family for Spring Break, I was excited for the vacation but terrified about the long airplane trip.
When you travel on an airplane with a newborn, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that you place the child in a seat that is as far away from you as possible.
When you travel on an airplane with a 4 year old, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that you place the child on another aircraft.
When you travel on an airplane as a family of 5 in 4 paid seats on 2 airplanes at 100% capacity for 7.5 hours plus a 4 hour layover minus a DVD player, the American Academy of Pediatrics simply says “Good luck!”
So there we were. Row 17. Window. Seat A – Colin. Seat B – Brett. Seat C – Kate & Lawton. Aisle. Seat D – Quinn. Seat E – Man looking worried that baby might move to seat D? Row 16. Exit Row. Seats A, B, C – unknown persons with fully reclined seats. Already? Aren’t they in the Exit Row? Unknown persons on path to quickly becoming inconsiderate persons.
Since we haven’t brought a DVD player along with us, we quickly scan through the Hemispheres magazine to see what in flight movie will be playing. Well, I say scan – but you actually need an advanced degree to understand the in flight programming guide. Westbound, to Hawaii, April 9, Boeing 767, terminals A&D, lavatory in rear, … just to be sure, I check my interpretation with Brett. Yes, the movie playing will indeed be “Happy Feet.” It is now safe to tell the children the good news. Row 17 is very happy. The rest of the passengers look understandably disappointed.
The pilot tells us we are now at cruising altitude and that we can safely unbuckle our seatbelts. The people on the flight to NY hear it also. The fading Lawton is now WIDE AWAKE. Thanks so much for the information.
45 minutes in. Change of seats. We’re on Snack #2. The beverage cart is on it’s way. Yes, we’ll have apple juice. No, we don’t want the can. Where would you suggest we put it? Do you notice that we are all using the one tray table that our 7th month year’s old arm can’t reach? We then pool our pretzel bags together and count 19 pretzels.
55 minutes in. There is a request for Snack #3. It has been denied. Movie to start in a few minutes. What did the flight attendant just say? “In a moment, we will be starting the movie “The Holiday” starring Cameron Diaz.” No, this can’t be! Where are the penguins! In our panic, we pull out the Hemispheres magazine once again. This starts a brief, but intense, debate between Brett and I about who misread the information first. All we know is that this “Holiday” has messed with the 2 hour holiday we were planning to have away from our children. Out comes Snack #3.
We try to explain why “The Holiday” is not an age appropriate movie. So we let the boys listen to the iPod instead. Their selection: “Californication” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Next up is coloring. That lasts a good 6 minutes. They are boys after all. However, they were able to knock out about 4 pages a piece in that 6 minutes. Amazing what you can do with one crayon applied vigorously to a page. Yes, of course, “It’s beautiful!”
Yatzee, anyone?
Now 3 hours in. Lawton should be sleeping. Why is he not sleeping? We have rocked him, we have walked him, we have submitted our bodies for his comfort. It is not enough. He is still awake, and is not very happy about it. I consider the overhead compartments for a moment. Ok, bad thought. There’d be witnesses. It’s official. Row 16 are definitely inconsiderate persons. Not only are they reclined for the duration, but now they are snoring.
After the 115th time, I am too tired to tell Colin to please try to not kick the seat in front of him. Oh well - if 16A wakes up from his happy slumber, perhaps he can take a turn walking Lawton.
Now 4 hours in. I am wondering why I brought a book to read on the plane. I am wondering why I even have my own personal carry-on luggage. So far, I have only been Snack-source, Toy-source, and comfy pillow-source. I wonder if all the other people on this airplane are appreciating the fact that they can read and enjoy some small personal space. That’s it – I decide to call the flight attendant to bring me a Diet Coke. With the can, please.
5 hours in to the second leg of our trip and the descent begins. Mom and Dad are exhausted; big boys are on the edge of their seats. Colin keeps saying, “Mom, look at the beautiful water! Which ocean is that?” To which I keep saying, “No, honey, it’s just the sky … and by the way, put your shoes on.”
Then we touch down and I look over at Quinn who muttles under his breath, “Wow – that was a peaceful descent.” Not “nice landing” but “peaceful descent.” Two words I didn’t even know he knew, let alone knew how to use them together in context. He hasn’t even noticed the hardship his parents have endured over the past 7+ flying hours, because HE has enjoyed the journey. The journey that didn’t include a movie but did include a very small bag of pretzels.
Once we get to the gate, Colin’s eyes are big as saucers as he sees again all the planes. He is mesmorized by them and finally exclaims, “Mom, do you know why airplanes can fly? Because the engines are so STRONG!” After which, he begins to point out all the different kind of airplanes he sees. For him, this is magic.
After so after a deep and reflective breathe, I am able to finally forgive the Captain for talking too loud, to forgive the unknown persons in the Exit Row, to forgive the person who couldn’t keep the urine in the toilet, and to say, “Yes, Colin – those engines are so strong!”
All the lights come on in the cabin. And Lawton is finally asleep. Ahola!
So when we decided to go to Hawaii as a family for Spring Break, I was excited for the vacation but terrified about the long airplane trip.
When you travel on an airplane with a newborn, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that you place the child in a seat that is as far away from you as possible.
When you travel on an airplane with a 4 year old, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that you place the child on another aircraft.
When you travel on an airplane as a family of 5 in 4 paid seats on 2 airplanes at 100% capacity for 7.5 hours plus a 4 hour layover minus a DVD player, the American Academy of Pediatrics simply says “Good luck!”
So there we were. Row 17. Window. Seat A – Colin. Seat B – Brett. Seat C – Kate & Lawton. Aisle. Seat D – Quinn. Seat E – Man looking worried that baby might move to seat D? Row 16. Exit Row. Seats A, B, C – unknown persons with fully reclined seats. Already? Aren’t they in the Exit Row? Unknown persons on path to quickly becoming inconsiderate persons.
Since we haven’t brought a DVD player along with us, we quickly scan through the Hemispheres magazine to see what in flight movie will be playing. Well, I say scan – but you actually need an advanced degree to understand the in flight programming guide. Westbound, to Hawaii, April 9, Boeing 767, terminals A&D, lavatory in rear, … just to be sure, I check my interpretation with Brett. Yes, the movie playing will indeed be “Happy Feet.” It is now safe to tell the children the good news. Row 17 is very happy. The rest of the passengers look understandably disappointed.
The pilot tells us we are now at cruising altitude and that we can safely unbuckle our seatbelts. The people on the flight to NY hear it also. The fading Lawton is now WIDE AWAKE. Thanks so much for the information.
45 minutes in. Change of seats. We’re on Snack #2. The beverage cart is on it’s way. Yes, we’ll have apple juice. No, we don’t want the can. Where would you suggest we put it? Do you notice that we are all using the one tray table that our 7th month year’s old arm can’t reach? We then pool our pretzel bags together and count 19 pretzels.
55 minutes in. There is a request for Snack #3. It has been denied. Movie to start in a few minutes. What did the flight attendant just say? “In a moment, we will be starting the movie “The Holiday” starring Cameron Diaz.” No, this can’t be! Where are the penguins! In our panic, we pull out the Hemispheres magazine once again. This starts a brief, but intense, debate between Brett and I about who misread the information first. All we know is that this “Holiday” has messed with the 2 hour holiday we were planning to have away from our children. Out comes Snack #3.
We try to explain why “The Holiday” is not an age appropriate movie. So we let the boys listen to the iPod instead. Their selection: “Californication” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Next up is coloring. That lasts a good 6 minutes. They are boys after all. However, they were able to knock out about 4 pages a piece in that 6 minutes. Amazing what you can do with one crayon applied vigorously to a page. Yes, of course, “It’s beautiful!”
Yatzee, anyone?
Now 3 hours in. Lawton should be sleeping. Why is he not sleeping? We have rocked him, we have walked him, we have submitted our bodies for his comfort. It is not enough. He is still awake, and is not very happy about it. I consider the overhead compartments for a moment. Ok, bad thought. There’d be witnesses. It’s official. Row 16 are definitely inconsiderate persons. Not only are they reclined for the duration, but now they are snoring.
After the 115th time, I am too tired to tell Colin to please try to not kick the seat in front of him. Oh well - if 16A wakes up from his happy slumber, perhaps he can take a turn walking Lawton.
Now 4 hours in. I am wondering why I brought a book to read on the plane. I am wondering why I even have my own personal carry-on luggage. So far, I have only been Snack-source, Toy-source, and comfy pillow-source. I wonder if all the other people on this airplane are appreciating the fact that they can read and enjoy some small personal space. That’s it – I decide to call the flight attendant to bring me a Diet Coke. With the can, please.
5 hours in to the second leg of our trip and the descent begins. Mom and Dad are exhausted; big boys are on the edge of their seats. Colin keeps saying, “Mom, look at the beautiful water! Which ocean is that?” To which I keep saying, “No, honey, it’s just the sky … and by the way, put your shoes on.”
Then we touch down and I look over at Quinn who muttles under his breath, “Wow – that was a peaceful descent.” Not “nice landing” but “peaceful descent.” Two words I didn’t even know he knew, let alone knew how to use them together in context. He hasn’t even noticed the hardship his parents have endured over the past 7+ flying hours, because HE has enjoyed the journey. The journey that didn’t include a movie but did include a very small bag of pretzels.
Once we get to the gate, Colin’s eyes are big as saucers as he sees again all the planes. He is mesmorized by them and finally exclaims, “Mom, do you know why airplanes can fly? Because the engines are so STRONG!” After which, he begins to point out all the different kind of airplanes he sees. For him, this is magic.
After so after a deep and reflective breathe, I am able to finally forgive the Captain for talking too loud, to forgive the unknown persons in the Exit Row, to forgive the person who couldn’t keep the urine in the toilet, and to say, “Yes, Colin – those engines are so strong!”
All the lights come on in the cabin. And Lawton is finally asleep. Ahola!
2 comments:
Remember the time or times I have said wouldn't it be fun to take all three boys on an experience? One exception suggested by my psychiatrist, lawyer, accountant, guru, mechanic, barber, plumber, dentist, urologist, cardiologist, the AMA, AAA, ABA, AFL/CIO, Republicans and Democrats (a singular bipartisan effort), and my favorite female blogger is an airplane trip.
Ok, let me just say that experience wore me out just reading about it! Does the vacation even feel like a vacation at this point? When you have kids, do you have to wait until they are all grown up and out of the house to actually enjoy a vacation? Amungst the frustrations, it seemed like an experience that was both forgettable and memorable....really, only 19 pretzels?
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