The Stuff in my Shower

Brett and I recently had a discussion about the differences between cleansers, exfoliants, and body scrubs .. or as he might say, all the SH** in the shower. So to further elaborate, here are some reasons for all the stuff in the shower:

1. Must alternate between expensive shampoo and inexpensive shampoo to amortize the $200 check written to Aveda.

2. Turns out that expensive Aveda shampoo smells like the heavens, but is not all it’s cracked up to be - coarse hair is a life long condition and no amount of Sap Moss is going to magically turn frizzy hair into strands of satin. Though the quest continues.

3. While the Lever bar of soap may do an adequate job of keeping my husband clean and fresh, it has its limits. It’s the same reason that not all dry skin conditions can be treated with Vaseline, (honey).

4. There is fundamental agreement among all beauty experts that women of all ages should use a gentle facial cleanser on their face in lieu of bar soap. Ask anyone, (sweetie.) Think of it like this: basketball shoes vs running shoes. Same fundamental thing. Completely different uses. I really could use your support on this initiative toward healthy, radiant, well nourished skin because I keep overlooking the fact that the facial cleanser is actually in the shower ready for use.

5. Body scrubs, anything related to foot care, and books with titles like “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” and “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff at Work” are very popular gifts to give working women. So it’s natural to oversubscribe on body scrubs that I DIDN’T BUY.

6. It is difficult to part with any razor, even a disposable one, for fear that you are throwing away the one of the five that still has some life left in it.

7. In my quest to try everything at Trader Jo’s, I thought I should give the Grapefruit Body Scrub a whirl. It, like the canned three bean salad, was a one time experiment. I also briefly forgot about point #5.

8. I continue to believe the one day I will have an extended shower – without interruption – that will allow me the time required to do a deep condition and facial mask. Until then, I am aware that these items are accumulating a great deal of shower scum on the bottoms of their containers and that it is entirely possible that they will smell like wet dog hair when finally opened.

9. Our children require special, tear-free shampoo and their own body wash. They also don’t seem to get the fact that they have their own shower – which unlike ours, includes a tub with an assortment of rubber duckies. Must I wait until puberty to take back my bathroom?

10. The sometimes present mirror in the shower is to aid my retrieval of a contact lense that has gone missing somewhere in my eye socket during a particularly vigorous face washing. It therefore contains no hidden meaning or innuendo in our family friendly bathroom. However … that mandarin orange body wash ….


Now, shall we talk about the stuff in the garage next?