Patti with an "i"

Everyone knows that women are asked to give up a lot when they are pregnant. Illegal drugs, cigarettes, and prescription drugs are not advised. Check. Tuna, hot dogs, and hot baths are also not recommended. Okay? Electric blankets, water beds, or contact with reptiles should also be avoided. Really? Although I suppose that since flammable bedding is just a really bad idea in general, that the last working water bed I saw was circa 1987, and that reptiles are simply vile – at least compliance here doesn’t require too big a stretch.

What does require a stretch is the warning against alcohol, caffeine and junk food. As I approached this subject, I determined that I would tow the line on some prohibitions in order than I might be “flexible” with some of the others. Chocolate definitely required flexibility. There were also times where I was just sure my growing baby was asking for a McDonalds two cheeseburger meal with a Diet Coke and I felt it only right to oblige. And since I didn’t read anything specifically about tuna melt, I postured that cheese must have some negating impact on mercury. So with these areas of give and take, I resolved to draw the line in the sand on alcohol and caffeinated coffee.

In August 2002 when I found out I was pregnant with Colin, I switched my drink to a Venti Decaf Drip. Prior to that, I was drinking all manners of caffeinated coffee beverages. Life was good. And, I was wide awake.

Since they say that even decaf coffee has a limited amount of caffeine, I decided to move up my size from Grande to Venti in hopes of maintaining at least some of my morning buzz. I also made the move from Latte to Drip because if I was going to be forced to drink the fake stuff, I figured I should at least I should save some money. Sugar replaced Equal and Non-Fat Milk subbed in for half and half. It was just what I always wanted – a really big cup of caloric but murky Joe that had me falling asleep at my desk by 10 am. Good news though was that I now had some extra pocket change for the M&M dispenser.

I considered this a big sacrifice, but I stuck to the plan.

I placed the first order for my new drink at the Starbucks near my office. Since my routine is to stop at this particular Starbucks every morning on my way to work, it felt appropriate to make my switch here – on my home turf.

Patti took my order.

“What can I get you this morning?” she asked cheerfully.

“A Venti Decaf Drip, please.” I replied.

“With room?” Patti asked.

“Yes, please.”

So after my $1.83 transaction, I was on my way to a new caffeine-free pregnancy. After several days of splitting headaches, life was back to good. Even better on those days that also included a morning cinnamon roll.

So this became my new drink, my new morning habit. Every Monday through Friday between 7:00-8:30 am, I would stop at the same Starbucks and order my same beverage. And Patti was always there to take my order.

I could tell that Patti was a model employee. She seemed to never take a sick day. She was always smiling. She dressed up for holidays and regularly got the “PARNTER OF THE MONTH” award. She tried her best to convince people to drink that awful Chantico chocolate drink. She gave out pastry samples. She made the correct change and even used the tip jar when people were short a penny or two.

The only problem: Patti could never remember my order. Never once in 3 years. (Even after having Colin, I decided there was no reason to break my new habit.) I’m not kidding. We had the EXACT same conversation EVERY morning for MORE THAN 3 years.

I kept wondering if Patti was getting me confused with all the other pregnant, blonde haired women with a work badge that she served every morning between the hours of 7-8:30 am who then had their baby and then came back and then got pregnant again. Or, maybe Patti was simply waiting for the day when I would bust out with a Green Tea Latte. Or, perhaps Patti was really five different people.

Whatever the case, I don’t think this was the “creating the customer experience” idea that Howard had it mind. I think Howard would suggest that one of the ways for partners to connect with their loyal customers is to try to remember their drink order. Now, I don’t expect anyone I do business with to remember me. Frankly I’d be happy if Classmates.com never emailed me again. Or, if Old Navy didn’t feel like they have to tell me every time a new shipment of clothes comes in. But I would kind of like my Starbucks partner to know that my VISA card has more Starbucks transactions than anything else.

So here’s the thing. Over the 3 years, I’ve observed a lot of things about Patti. I know that she drinks Passion Iced Tea Lemonade (she told me once that it was her favorite drink.) I know that she likes to eat to the Fruit Cup on her break and that she has four children – 3 boys and 1 girl. I also know that she spells Patti with an “i” not a “y.”

But she still has to ask me about wanting room.

I used to have a complicated order. It was a double tall, nonfat, vanilla latte, with extra foam. I like to think that a Venti Decaf Drip has put me on the path towards being lower maintenance. But now when I wonder, had it made me unmemorable?

Thanks to Patti, I’ve been walking around for the past four years with this question. Are we all really that preoccupied with our own lives that we don’t see the people in front of us? That we smile, but don’t connect. That we listen, but don’t remember. That we take in information, but don’t process it.

I think the answer is often yes.

I was on a business trip last week and overhead a young woman who was going home to bury a brother who was just killed in Iraq. I then talked to another young mother who was moving her 10 month old daughter Mia across the country to live with her sister while her husband does a 15 month tour of duty in Iraq. These were hard days for these two young women. I listened and talked long enough to gather the information, but not to offer any more. I was in a hurry to get to my USA Today.

Shame on me.


All of a sudden Patti’s slight did not seem so injurious.